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Generation Asthma - Two Puffs, Breathe Slow

by The Can of Nothing

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1.
People run All over town Their heads are rolling off their shoulders Bright lights in the sky They come down with their eyes Flashing red and blue, 12 Hertz in full screen We all scream! Here they come! Here they'll feed! Here's where they'll stay inside of me! Crimson streets Runway meat On silicon we'd look so neat! (Spoken) Oh jeez! Oh man! They're comin' right at us! They have that scary look in their eyes! That one my wife gets when she shops at The Gap! Now we go into their "fun house" They told us we'd all have some pizza But what did we find? They came in wielding knives Razor sharp, aimed at my heart I knew they weren't so friendly! Here they come! Here they'll feed! Here's where they'll stay inside of me! Textile face Stylish race Our carbon hides will sure look nice! (Spoken) Oh no, what are they doing now? Oh, that's so gross, I can't look at it. I think I'm going to be sick. Seamstress witch Pulsating fingers Outlining patterns in our foreheads I can't believe They're fabricating me Needles sharpened to the top They're turning me into a frock?! Here they come! Here they'll feed! Here's where they'll stay inside of me! Crimson streets Runway meat On silicon we look so neat!
2.
Back when I was four, five or six Mom and pop told me grandma couldn't take care of herself anymore and they had to move her into a special kind of hotel. I went to visit her everyday. Look out! Look out! There's my Granny Jones Livin' hot hot at the hotel Sleepin' for weeks, stealing shampoo and sheets When's she gonna check out? Watch out! Watch out! Don't bump into the old folks Moving slow slow at the Hotel You got a TV, AC Maple whiskey in an IV They're sicky, but whoo! They got got got it all Yes I saw Granny at the hotel Yes She said she'd love me forever She tips me five bucks, yes Then wishes me luck, yes And asks me if I know her Look out! Look out! Where'd your mind go? Never thought time would break you so well Dried up your head and made you forget and left you crying in a hotel Watch out! Watch out! Don't mess up your room now! Not staying long here at the hotel Just be a good guest Keep the tubes in your wrists We still love what's left of yourself Yes I saw Granny at the hotel Yes We checked out pulses together Said I know who you are, yes So don't be afraid Even if you can't remember.
3.
My Darling 02:56
My Darling You've been good to me And you know that I adore ya So I haven't said a word about this since we met But there's something strange about your facial features And I'm sorry, but now I just have to ask about it How'd that lightbulb wind up in your forehead? Screwed deep into your pink and meaty brain? Why does it blink when you dream and think or ponder? I've lost so much sleep that light keeps me awake You're the only one I know with such a defect Yet you still insist that it's how you were born You say your parents had it That it's genetic So will our children be bulb-adorned? I'll admit it's actually sort of charming And you know surely I don't love you any less I fell for you Like a little moth mite Of all the lights I've known You are the brightest But seriously... How'd that lightbulb wind up in your forehead? Screwed deep into your pink and meaty brain? Why does it blink when you dream and think or ponder? I've lost so much sleep that light keeps me awake Yeah, how'd you get a lightbulb in your forehead? And does it ever need to be replaced? I just ask 'Cause I'm curious, darlin' Think I'd look good With a lightbulb in my face?
4.
VERSE 1: Falling asleep With eyes wide open The Sandman comes to write on your mind. Sensations numbing Your heart is racing Don't wake up now, it's pointless, don't try. (He's coming now) He's gonna get ya Dropped on your feet in worlds so strange You're running now! You're getting nowhere! How can you comprehend this physical state? CHORUS: He's right behind you now Footsteps move faster now He's getting closer now He'll never reach you now. You're never farther from His fearful grip, his laughter You'll always feel the same That fear of getting nowhere! You...you're getting where? Not getting there You're getting nowhere. You...you're getting where? Not getting there. Nowhere. VERSE2: The endless space is closing in between your life and death, but they're never meeting. It's aggravating The terror's grating It never ends, it's hopeless, defeating. (You turn around) To see your nightmare To see his face, but it's not there. You're running now! You're getting nowhere! How do you face the faceless man? CHORUS BRIDGE CHORUS
5.
There you see her Sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say But there's something about her And you don't know why But you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do Possible she wants you too There is one way to ask her It don't take a word Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl Sha la la la la la My oh my Look like the boy too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl Sha la la la la la Ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad, he gonna miss the girl Now's your moment Floating in a blue lagoon Boy you better do it soon No time will be better She don't say a word And she won't say a word Until you kiss the girl Sha la la la la la My oh my Look like the boy too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl Sha la la la la la Ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad, he gonna miss the girl Sha la la la la la Don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl Sha la la la la la Don't stop now Don't try to hide it how You want to kiss the girl Sha la la la la la Float along And listen to the song The song say kiss the girl Sha la la la la The music play Do what the music say You got to kiss the girl
6.
Gotham Chili 04:15
7.
Everyday I wake up to the sound of Mr. T yellin' into my ear from an A-Team alarm clock. It puts me in such a bad mood, and so I walk over to the bathroom. You see the bathroom holds the solution to my problem. Inside the cabinet is a little bottle full of Happy Candy We call it that 'cause it puts a smile on my face But it's really called Prozac. You see I have what they call 'clinical depression' I just can't help feeling the way that I do! And not even a healthy helping of Seinfeld can shake away my blues. But one day I reached into the cabinet, you see And to my dismay I discovered they were gone! The pills that I rely on to keep me so chipper I couldn't see them in the place that they normally are. So I checked on the floor then I checked in the tub But my germophobia got the better of me I had no idea what I should do And I sure as heck couldn't call the police 'Cause it's not a missing person, it's just a couple of pills This is giving me a heart attack I really wish this hadn't happened today. I really miss my Prozac. I miss my Prozac now I miss my happy days I want to smile again It's driving me insane! Livin' stinks when you're down in the dumps Whatever will I do without my Prozac? I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even watch TV I'm much too down to handle those things I'd rather go and weep. Oh, and if you think watching Maury Povich is bad with the drugs? Just try watching him without 'em. It's like being a prisoner of war and tortured for days Oh why, oh why did this happen to me? My hot date tonight is gonna think I'm a freak Though it might be better than last time when I lost her keys But anyway, I guess I should go look for them now. The Prozak, I mean. Not the keys. So I went downstairs and I talked to my dad I said "Hey man, have you seen my Prozac?" But he scowled at me and he said "You're a bum! Don't bother me drinkin' at eight in the morn'!" So instead I asked my dog Buddy But he just looked at me with his sad puppy eyes So I looked back at him with my sad puppy eyes And then we had a starin' contest... But then I started to cry, and he started to howl And we pretty much woke up the entire neighbourhood But that's okay, 'cause maybe they can all help me look for my Prozac. I miss my Prozac now (Misplaced!) I miss those happy days (So sad!) I want to smile again (Never hurts to try!) It's driving me insane! (Oh yeah!) I sure hope I find my Prozac today.

about

The only album from super duo Tangent Achoy and The Uncanny Philminder! Listen as they race through the various sonic landscapes of modern music, and then stop short to take a hit of their puffers so they don't keel over and die. It's Generation Asthma, and they're here to stay! For one album only! Then they'll be gone.

credits

released January 18, 2014

Music and lyrics written by Derek Achoy and Phil.
All live instruments performed by Derek Achoy and Phil.
Drums and synthesized tracks recorded through Properllorhead's Reason software.
All tracks mixed in Adobe Audition.
All songs were completed sometime between 2007 and 2012.
Album artwork by Robyn Seto.

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The Can of Nothing Toronto, Ontario

Progenitors of weird and geeky humour since 2000! But not our music. Our music is serious.

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