Generation Asthma - Two Puffs, Breathe Slow

by The Can of Nothing

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about

The only album from super duo Tangent Achoy and The Uncanny Philminder! Listen as they race through the various sonic landscapes of modern music, and then stop short to take a hit of their puffers so they don't keel over and die. It's Generation Asthma, and they're here to stay! For one album only! Then they'll be gone.

credits

released January 18, 2014

Music and lyrics written by Derek Achoy and Phil.
All live instruments performed by Derek Achoy and Phil.
Drums and synthesized tracks recorded through Properllorhead's Reason software.
All tracks mixed in Adobe Audition.
All songs were completed sometime between 2007 and 2012.
Album artwork by Robyn Seto.

tags

license

Track Name: Fashion Season ('09 mix)
People run
All over town
Their heads are rolling off their shoulders

Bright lights in the sky
They come down with their eyes
Flashing red and blue,
12 Hertz in full screen
We all scream!

Here they come!
Here they'll feed!
Here's where they'll stay
inside of me!

Crimson streets
Runway meat
On silicon
we'd look so neat!

(Spoken)
Oh jeez! Oh man!
They're comin' right at us!
They have that scary look in their eyes!
That one my wife gets when she shops at The Gap!

Now we go
into their "fun house"
They told us we'd all have some pizza

But what did we find?
They came in wielding knives
Razor sharp, aimed at my heart
I knew they weren't so friendly!

Here they come!
Here they'll feed!
Here's where they'll stay
inside of me!

Textile face
Stylish race
Our carbon hides
will sure look nice!

(Spoken)
Oh no, what are they doing now?
Oh, that's so gross, I can't look at it.
I think I'm going to be sick.

Seamstress witch
Pulsating fingers
Outlining patterns in our foreheads

I can't believe
They're fabricating me
Needles sharpened to the top
They're turning me into a frock?!

Here they come!
Here they'll feed!
Here's where they'll stay
inside of me!

Crimson streets
Runway meat
On silicon
we look so neat!
Track Name: Granny Jones' Hotel
Back when I was four, five or six
Mom and pop told me grandma couldn't take care of herself anymore
and they had to move her into a special kind of hotel.
I went to visit her everyday.

Look out! Look out!
There's my Granny Jones
Livin' hot hot at the hotel
Sleepin' for weeks, stealing shampoo and sheets
When's she gonna check out?

Watch out! Watch out!
Don't bump into the old folks
Moving slow slow at the Hotel
You got a TV, AC
Maple whiskey in an IV
They're sicky, but whoo!
They got got got it all

Yes
I saw Granny at the hotel
Yes
She said she'd love me forever
She tips me five bucks, yes
Then wishes me luck, yes
And asks me if I know her

Look out! Look out!
Where'd your mind go?
Never thought time
would break you so well
Dried up your head
and made you forget
and left you crying in a hotel

Watch out! Watch out!
Don't mess up your room now!
Not staying long here at the hotel
Just be a good guest
Keep the tubes in your wrists
We still love what's left of yourself

Yes
I saw Granny at the hotel
Yes
We checked out pulses together
Said I know who you are, yes
So don't be afraid
Even if you can't remember.
Track Name: My Darling
My Darling
You've been good to me
And you know that I adore ya
So I haven't said a word about this
since we met

But there's something strange
about your facial features
And I'm sorry, but now
I just have to ask about it

How'd that lightbulb wind up in your forehead?
Screwed deep into your pink and meaty brain?
Why does it blink
when you dream and think
or ponder?
I've lost so much sleep
that light keeps me awake

You're the only one I know with such a defect
Yet you still insist that it's how you were born
You say your parents had it
That it's genetic
So will our children be bulb-adorned?

I'll admit it's actually sort of charming
And you know surely
I don't love you any less

I fell for you
Like a little moth mite
Of all the lights I've known
You are the brightest
But seriously...

How'd that lightbulb wind up in your forehead?
Screwed deep into your pink and meaty brain?
Why does it blink
when you dream and think
or ponder?
I've lost so much sleep
that light keeps me awake

Yeah, how'd you get a lightbulb in your forehead?
And does it ever need to be replaced?
I just ask
'Cause I'm curious, darlin'
Think I'd look good
With a lightbulb in my face?
Track Name: You're Getting Nowhere
VERSE 1:
Falling asleep
With eyes wide open
The Sandman comes to write on your mind.
Sensations numbing
Your heart is racing
Don't wake up now, it's pointless, don't try.

(He's coming now)
He's gonna get ya
Dropped on your feet in worlds so strange
You're running now!
You're getting nowhere!
How can you comprehend this physical state?

CHORUS:
He's right behind you now
Footsteps move faster now
He's getting closer now
He'll never reach you now.

You're never farther from
His fearful grip, his laughter
You'll always feel the same
That fear of getting nowhere!

You...you're getting where?
Not getting there
You're getting nowhere.
You...you're getting where?
Not getting there.
Nowhere.

VERSE2:
The endless space
is closing in
between your life and death, but they're never meeting.
It's aggravating
The terror's grating
It never ends, it's hopeless, defeating.

(You turn around)
To see your nightmare
To see his face, but it's not there.
You're running now!
You're getting nowhere!
How do you face the faceless man?

CHORUS

BRIDGE

CHORUS
Track Name: Kiss the Girl
There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl

Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say
You got to kiss the girl
Track Name: I Miss My Prozac
Everyday I wake up to the sound of Mr. T yellin' into my ear from an A-Team alarm clock.
It puts me in such a bad mood, and so I walk over to the bathroom.
You see the bathroom holds the solution to my problem.
Inside the cabinet is a little bottle full of Happy Candy
We call it that 'cause it puts a smile on my face
But it's really called Prozac.
You see I have what they call 'clinical depression'
I just can't help feeling the way that I do!
And not even a healthy helping of Seinfeld can shake away my blues.

But one day I reached into the cabinet, you see
And to my dismay I discovered they were gone!
The pills that I rely on to keep me so chipper
I couldn't see them in the place that they normally are.
So I checked on the floor then I checked in the tub
But my germophobia got the better of me
I had no idea what I should do
And I sure as heck couldn't call the police
'Cause it's not a missing person, it's just a couple of pills
This is giving me a heart attack
I really wish this hadn't happened today.
I really miss my Prozac.

I miss my Prozac now
I miss my happy days
I want to smile again
It's driving me insane!
Livin' stinks when you're down in the dumps

Whatever will I do without my Prozac?
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even watch TV
I'm much too down to handle those things
I'd rather go and weep.
Oh, and if you think watching Maury Povich is bad with the drugs?
Just try watching him without 'em.
It's like being a prisoner of war and tortured for days
Oh why, oh why did this happen to me?
My hot date tonight is gonna think I'm a freak
Though it might be better than last time when I lost her keys
But anyway, I guess I should go look for them now.
The Prozak, I mean. Not the keys.

So I went downstairs and I talked to my dad
I said "Hey man, have you seen my Prozac?"
But he scowled at me and he said
"You're a bum! Don't bother me drinkin' at eight in the morn'!"
So instead I asked my dog Buddy
But he just looked at me with his sad puppy eyes
So I looked back at him with my sad puppy eyes
And then we had a starin' contest...
But then I started to cry, and he started to howl
And we pretty much woke up the entire neighbourhood
But that's okay, 'cause maybe they can all help me look for my Prozac.

I miss my Prozac now (Misplaced!)
I miss those happy days (So sad!)
I want to smile again (Never hurts to try!)
It's driving me insane! (Oh yeah!)
I sure hope I find my Prozac today.