Everyday I wake up to the sound of Mr. T yellin' into my ear from an A-Team alarm clock.
It puts me in such a bad mood, and so I walk over to the bathroom.
You see the bathroom holds the solution to my problem.
Inside the cabinet is a little bottle full of Happy Candy
We call it that 'cause it puts a smile on my face
But it's really called Prozac.
You see I have what they call 'clinical depression'
I just can't help feeling the way that I do!
And not even a healthy helping of Seinfeld can shake away my blues.

But one day I reached into the cabinet, you see
And to my dismay I discovered they were gone!
The pills that I rely on to keep me so chipper
I couldn't see them in the place that they normally are.
So I checked on the floor then I checked in the tub
But my germophobia got the better of me
I had no idea what I should do
And I sure as heck couldn't call the police
'Cause it's not a missing person, it's just a couple of pills
This is giving me a heart attack
I really wish this hadn't happened today.
I really miss my Prozac.

I miss my Prozac now
I miss my happy days
I want to smile again
It's driving me insane!
Livin' stinks when you're down in the dumps

Whatever will I do without my Prozac?
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even watch TV
I'm much too down to handle those things
I'd rather go and weep.
Oh, and if you think watching Maury Povich is bad with the drugs?
Just try watching him without 'em.
It's like being a prisoner of war and tortured for days
Oh why, oh why did this happen to me?
My hot date tonight is gonna think I'm a freak
Though it might be better than last time when I lost her keys
But anyway, I guess I should go look for them now.
The Prozak, I mean. Not the keys.

So I went downstairs and I talked to my dad
I said "Hey man, have you seen my Prozac?"
But he scowled at me and he said
"You're a bum! Don't bother me drinkin' at eight in the morn'!"
So instead I asked my dog Buddy
But he just looked at me with his sad puppy eyes
So I looked back at him with my sad puppy eyes
And then we had a starin' contest...
But then I started to cry, and he started to howl
And we pretty much woke up the entire neighbourhood
But that's okay, 'cause maybe they can all help me look for my Prozac.

I miss my Prozac now (Misplaced!)
I miss those happy days (So sad!)
I want to smile again (Never hurts to try!)
It's driving me insane! (Oh yeah!)
I sure hope I find my Prozac today.